Tag Archive | relationship advice

12 Ways To Affair-Proof Your Marriage, From A Professional Matchmaker

There’s no way to absolutely guarantee that your marriage won’t be blindsided by an affair on your part or your spouse’s, but there are definite steps you can take to greatly reduce the probability of that happening.

It’s important to know what you can do to strengthen your marital connection and keep your marriage vibrant and healthy. A rewarding, satisfying marriage that meets the needs of both partners is your best protection against the destructive intrusion of an affair.

So what can you do to “affair proof” your marriage as much as possible? The following twelve steps will guide you in building a stronger marriage partnership and help you and your spouse to withstand the lusty lure of temptation:

1. Make your relationship with your spouse your top priority in the hierarchy involving family, friends, co-workers, neighbors, and others.

Make a real commitment of time, energy, and effort to your marriage. You can end up pulled in so many different directions and over-extended that your most valuable and precious relationship can end up at the bottom of the list unless you make it a top priority.

2. Nurture the emotional intimacy in your marriage.

Make time to talk each day, not just about the events that have happened, but also about your feelings. Share on an emotional level–your fears, your frustrations, your joys, your disappointments, and your challenges. Let your partner know how much you value being able to talk to him or her about anything and to connect on a deep level.

3. Show appreciation on a regular basis.

Be generous with compliments and thank you’s. Tell your spouse at least once a week how much you appreciate him or her and list the qualities that you love, admire, and respect. Don’t worry that you’ve said these things before–no one gets tired of hearing their good traits praised!

4. Spend time together doing fun things and just “hanging out.”

Bonding can deepen when you and your spouse have unstructured time to just relax and hang out together. If every minute of your time together is tightly scheduled and rushed, you’ll miss out on opportunities to be spontaneous. Look for fun things to do–a picnic in the park, a hike, trying a new restaurant, going out dancing, or going swimming.

5. Keep your sex life active.

Sometimes being sick or fatigued gets in the way of sexual desire, as does family stress like caring for an ill or aging parent. Certainly the energy and time required to raise children can leave parents drained and “on empty.”
In spite of these challenges, it’s essential to make time for sex. The sobering reality is that most spouses are more vulnerable to flirtations and sexual advances from others when their sex life is unhappy at home.

6. Discuss and resolve issues as they come up.

Don’t just bury them or neglect trying to resolve them. Learn how to disagree without being disagreeable and causing long-term damage to your relationship. Above all–communicate, communicate, communicate. Keep the communication door wide open at all times.

7. Talk about the problem of infidelity and know that it can strike any marriage.

Bring the subject out into the open and express your feelings and deepest fears. Brainstorm with your spouse about how you can keep your marriage strong and what the two of you think would be helpful in preventing an affair from happening. Commit to telling your spouse if you feel vulnerable or if things start getting out of control in any situation.

8. Share goals for the present and future that inspire you.

When you and your spouse share common goals that you’re passionate about, you will feel closer to each other and more connected. It helps you to feel like a real team. The feeling of partnership is important in deepening commitment to each other. Whatever your mutual dream is, the passion you bring to pursuing it can draw you closer together.

9. Make wise decisions about contact with the opposite sex at work and other settings.

You may encounter special situations and temptations on business trips or at business parties or in your work setting. Talk frankly with your spouse and agree on what you both feel comfortable with. If your spouse is on a business trip and the group goes out dancing, will you be upset if your spouse participates? Plan ahead and head off potential problems.

10. Know the danger signals.

Many affairs have started with individuals sharing intimate personal information with each other on a regular basis while not confiding in their respective spouses. Intimacy can mushroom quickly when secrecy is involved and a feeling of connection develops. Other danger signals are having increased sexual excitement about seeing someone in particular, being in settings with lots of alcohol and drinking when your spouse isn’t present, and being more vulnerable than usual due to feelings of loneliness, rejection, or anger at your spouse.

11. Celebrate your love, anniversaries, birthdays, and other special occasions.

Value your marriage and take advantage of every opportunity to celebrate, such as your wedding anniversary, the date that you met, your spouse’s birthday, and any other special days that the two of you share. This helps to keep the romance alive and also to keep your connection strong. Celebrate your love, your time together, your plans for the future, and the priceless present moment.

12. Support each other’s goals.

Make a commitment to help your spouse be all that he or she is capable of being. Your marriage is only strengthened when each of you is happy and fulfilled with your life. It’s to your advantage to help your spouse reach goals that are important to him or her, even if they aren’t your particular goals. Be positive and encouraging of your spouse’s desires to live up to his or her potential.

Nicole Westwood is professional matchmaker and an upscale matchmaker. Nicole Westwood is a matchmaker in Los Angeles who can help you find lasting love and romance.


Such a Thing As Love At First Sight? From a Profesional Matchmaker

It’s just karma; for every action, there is a reaction; it must be fate; this was destined to be; these are all clichés that we have heard time and again, but what do they really mean.  According to Wikipedia Karma is the result of cause and effect, and here at It’s Just Karma we want to explore that dynamic in relationships.

Who has ever met two people at the exact same time and taken and instant like for one and an instant dislike for the other?  What is it in our minds that determine who or what we like and don’t like.  Is this a result of Karma?  Because you find one more attractive than the other, the effect is that you like them more.

Have you ever noticed that when we meet a person who does not interest us romantically, they fall in love with us as if we are their soul mates?  Then on the other hand when we meet someone who is attractive to us, they tend to display ambivalence and aloofness towards us.  What is really the cause between the two that has such an effect on the outcome of relationships?

In the case of relationships between members of the opposite sex, I believe the initial reaction is based solely on appearances.  When you first meet someone and declare “I really like this person”, what you actually mean is “I really like the way this person looks”.  No one can possibly decide they really LIKE someone they have only known for a week.  The reality is you don’t even know this person. You have a strong attraction and want to get to know them, but you do not know them.

Some couples declare “It was love at first sight”.  For me, this translates into “It was lust at first sight”.  Some of these couples are happy enough to remain in this partnership until actual love develops, but usually once the lust fizzles out so does the relationship.

Most people go through life with this quest to find that perfect someone.  Some people are successful while others are not.  Where lie’s the secret to this success?  I am embarking on a journey of understanding.  I am determined to understand how men and women think about people of the opposite sex, friends, and relationships as a whole.  I welcome input from both sexes about all kinds of relationships.

Nicole Westwood is an upscale matchmaker. Nicole Westwood is a matchmaker in Los Angeles who can help you meet the love of your life. A professional matchmaker can help you meet the woman of your dreams.

Are you Girlfriend Material–Tips from An Upscale Matchmaker

Every girl grows up dreaming of her Prince Charming, the man who is so perfect that she falls in love with him instantly and lives happily ever after.

The question is…do men do the same thing?  Does every man you meet have a vision of his perfect girl – his Princess Charming – in his head?

The answer is yes.

I know what you’re thinking – “What is this girl like?  How do I learn to be like her?  How do I become Princess Charming?”  Read on for a few suggestions on how to become perfect girlfriend material…

· Be feminine but don’t be prissy.  If he wanted to be dating someone masculine, he’d be dating a man!  Embrace your inner girly-ness and throw on a skirt and your favorite pair of heels every once in a while.

· Have a good sense of humor.  Women almost always list “A good sense of humor” as one of the top traits they want in a boyfriend.  It’s no different for men.  Relax!  Learn to take a joke, and to dish them back out.

· Accept his flaws.  Think about it – you love the fact that he tells you you’re beautiful in the mornings, or that he thinks you’re sexy even when you haven’t shaved your legs in a week, so return the favor.  So what if he sometimes leaves the seat up?  You’re not perfect – he doesn’t have to be either.

· Have a life outside of your relationship.  Don’t focus all your time and energy on your man.  He’ll start to feel stifled, and he’ll lose respect for you.  Eat dessert.  Travel.  Spend time with your friends.  Work a job you love.  Be independent and love your life (he’ll love it too, and dread not being a part of it!).

· Find balance.  Evolutionarily, men are dominant and women are submissive.  Life has changed considerably since we crawled out of the primordial ooze, but traces of the same psychology remain.  In order to feel confident and successful, a man must feel that he is in control of the things that are important to him.  At the same time, however, men don’t find weak, dependent, needy women attractive.  Be strong, but not threateningly aggressive.

· Be confident with your sexuality.  When you’re girlfriend material, you understand how to be sexy without being skanky.  Take pride in your body.  Be flirtatious.  Initiate sex.  Communicate what you want.  Be a little bit adventurous.  You are self-assured, in control, and completely irresistible!

· Don’t be needy.  Clinginess is one of the biggest turnoffs for a man.  Don’t be upset if he can’t spend time with you.  Don’t act jealous or suspicious if he mentions the name of another woman.  Don’t bombard him with text messages and phone calls.

· Work towards your dreams.  A woman who is ambitious and motivated is incredibly sexy.  Set goals and work towards them.  He’ll be impressed by your determination, and inspired to improve himself.

Follow these tips and you’ll soon become the girl he can’t bear to be without!

Nicole Westwood is a upscale matchmaker and a professional matchmaker in Los Angeles.

 

Breaking the Ice With the Woman You Are Interested In–Tips From a Professional Matchmaker

Breaking the ice with women is all about getting the conversation flowing. Some people even utilize cheesy pickup lines to get the conversation started.

The fact is about 70% of the time the woman will know if she wants talk to you before you open your mouth. Sometimes the things you can say to be dumb and you can still succeed. Sometimes you can come out with the most incredible and witty banter, and she just won’t have it. Successful breaking of the ice is all about getting that remaining 30% going.

When will you want to break the ice with girls

Introductions are the single best way to break the ice with girls. But does not always feasible. When you get introduced to someone is like a person’s or developing for your basic character and abilities.

But most women you meet will not get a chance to be introduced to. Chances are the girls you meet and wish to talk to will been situations like this:

  • She is with her friends
  • She is standing near or around a dance floor
  • She is in line at a bank, store, restaurant etc
  • She is in a bar or club
  • She is at a party

 

So how do you break the ice with these girls

People can come up with lots of different ways to break the ice with a girl. from those cheesy pickup lines. To asking them for the time. To asking a woman questions. To pretending you think you know her from somewhere. The list goes on and on.

all of these methods to approach women will work sometimes. All of these methods to approach women will fail sometimes. Basically belt, and it comes to approaching women there only to real types of approaches. The indirect approach. In the direct approach.

The Indirect Approach:uses subterfuge. You’re going to say one thing while you mean another. Is all about using transparent excuses to try to get the girl talking. For some women this does work better. Other women will be angered because you will think they will fall for overly slick techniques.

The Direct Approach: is straightforward. At its core is very basic. You go up to the girl you want to break the ice with and start talking to her. From the beginning you’re letting her know what you want. remember for many girls they’ve already decided whether they will talk to you are not. Sometimes playing games is just wasting time and inviting trouble.

Why not try using the Direct Approach with Women

Approaching women directly, as a means to break the ice with a girl is a powerful technique if done correctly. And it is quite simple.

Just go up to the girl. Tap her on the shoulder. Touch her elbow. Look her in the eyes as you approach. Say “hi” or “hello”. whatever it takes to get her attention. Then deliver one of your best direct lines.

What line will work? that depends upon you. Try different mindset with different women. The only thing to remember here is that short and sweet wins the race. Your line should have punch but not be overly wordy. you’re looking to get out a confident opener. It almost doesn’t matter what you say. Important part is that you get talking and he seemed to be confidence and sure of yourself. This attitude is more important than anything why comes to breaking the ice with a girl.

The benefits of using the direct approach in breaking the ice with girls

A benefit of using the direct approach with women is confidence. Women love confident man. They’re attracted to confident man. When you try some overly slick line sometimes all you’re doing is showing that you lack confidence in yourself. On many women this can have the opposite effect. It just proves to them how little you believe in yourself. By using this direct approach in breaking the ice with the girl you are showing heard that you are somebody worthy of respect because of your self-confidence and assurance.

Nicole Westwood is an upscale matchmaker and a matchmaker in LA.

 

How To Impress Him On The First Date–Tips From An Upscale Matchmaker

As a professional matchmaker, I will tell you , first dates are exciting. The mystery of how your date is going to be like is sending butterflies into your stomach. At the same time, you are probably also wondering, ‘how should I present myself on the first date?’ Well the fact that you’re going out with this guy shows that you are attracted to him – so I guess you probably won’t want to mess this up right? You will do just fine by following these tips I’m about to share with you.

Having dated several times before I got engaged, I’ve been to quite a number of ‘first dates’. Needless to say, there were good and bad experiences and along the way, I took note of what kind of behaviour is attractive to a man and what is not. The key is to So let me share them with you.

Attractive Behaviour of Women on A First Date:

  1. Participate in the conversation. What a man likes is to be heard. He will feel that what he is saying isn’t boring you and it gives him a HUGE confidence boost. So, respond to his comments and or questions about the topic the both of you are on and if you are not familiar with the topic, ask him about it! It will give him more things to talk about and you won’t have to be afraid of the situation where there are awkward silences.
  2. Be enthusiastic but not overly enthusiastic. Being enthusiastic during first dates is always a plus point. For example, if the man suggests catching a movie after the meal, go ahead with it. And since he’s decided the program, you have the choice of movie. However, if you’re really tired after a long day provide him with an alternative and let him know that you’re tired – being honest about what you want and feel is essential for a healthy relationship.
  3. Dress up according to the occasion. This is one of the most crucial tip on how you should present yourself on the first date. You see, men are visual beings. The first thing he will take note when you arrive at the date is your physical appearance. It will indicate to him how much you want to have this date with him and if he sense that you aren’t, there is a very high chance that this date may not work out. So, dress according to the occasion and if you aren’t sure what to wear, ask your girlfriends to help you.

Nicole is an upscale matchmaker, and a matchmaker in Los Angeles who runs an upscale matchmaking agency. She can help introduce you upscale singles for lasting love.

 

How to Hire an Upscale Matchmaker

1. Do your research.

There are hundreds of professional matchmakers, everyone has a niche. Some matchmaking agencies are large, some are small, decide which one would work best with you. Chances are if you are seeking one on one customer service, you should go with a smaller matchmaking agency where you will work directly with the head matchmaker and owner of the company.

2.  Don’t be afraid to go out-of-state.

As a professional matchmaker, many of my clients are from out-of-state. If you find the right matchmaker and she/he is out-of-state, don’t despair, a matchmaker out-of-state could have a large database in your state, so she/he might be worth looking into.

3. Consider Cost.

An upscale matchmaker is not cheap, but some matchmakers charge differently from others. Some of the larger matchmakers require that you sign a yearly contract, and some like us work a month to month on a fairly priced retainer.

Nicole Westwood is an matchmaker in Los Angeles who works with upscale clients to find them long-lasting love.

Eye Contact is Important When Approaching Someone You Like, A tip from an upscale matchmaker.

As a professional matchmaker, I would say that making eye contact with someone you intend to ask out is very important., it is one of the ways you signal that you are interested.

We need to make eye contact. A glance at a girl becomes very personal when it’s slightly longer and with a smile. A guy can use this tactic to save himself from approaching women that may not be interested.

We as humans are naturally trained not to stare. Look all around you, the extroverts in life make eye contact and are ready to engage. If you’re in a social environment put away your iPhone, and engage women with your eyes. This is a powerful tool. Re-occurring glances at a girl followed by a smile can produce amazing results. Picture this as a set of lights. Green (a smile back) – you approach, red (she looks away) – you avoid.

As a crucial dating tip for men, we need to re-train ourselves to look up and get used to making eye contact with women. When we do this a conversation can begin through body language. I define this as a personal introduction with out words being spoken.

Most of us men look away because we fear the rejection, or the disapproval of our glances. This is a wasted opportunity. How many times have we checked out some one, say at a bar, you look at them, they look back. This continues until there is simultaneous eye contact. Then a smile happens or a gesture. Then the guy does nothing more for fear of rejection. More times than not, this opportunity is wasted and the two parties move on. Change this!

Guys,this is you’re goal, this is your challenge. Start by glancing at women and smiling every day.Then follow up with conversations with these girls. This will condition your mind through repetition. Then, when the hot chick arrives you’ll be in the game. Being shy does not work to your advantage here.

After eye contact, the approach can be made much easier. You know she is interested, now you have permission. These are tactics of a player.

In summary, eye contact is a crucial dating tip for men. Get used to looking at women and make deliberate glances with girls you find attractive. Try and hold the gaze with a nice smile and watch their reaction. If it is positive, move in for the pick up. You will be surprised.

This is a crucial advice for men that should be deployed at all times.

Finally, remember that not everyone you glance at will be attracted to you, so expect some glances never to be returned. Don’t take it personally.

Nicole Westwood is a matchmaker in Los Angeles who runs The Nicole Westwood Agency, an upscale matchmaking agency that can help you find the love of your life.

 

Tips on How to Approach a Man From An Upscale Matchmaker

Approaching a man, especially a man you don’t know very well is sometimes a nerve wracking ordeal. Here are some tips from a professional matchmaker Nicole Westwood to help you approach him with confidence.

Even before we begin, let me give you one single tip that all of you need to follow. This is no mathematics where a formula can be followed to get the perfect outcome every time. It is rather too complicated and any particular pattern cannot be followed. Bear in mind that to become a successful flirt and also an attractive one, you will need to practice all these tips and also sharpen all your feminine senses. Women who have been divorced or have been through painful break-ups, can also try out these tips to regain their confidence and self-esteem. Always remember that the best way of coming back to life is to remind yourself of who you are. Read more on signs of flirting.

Confidence is the Key
One of the first and most important flirting tips for women is confidence. I believe that deep down inside every woman is a very confident person and a woman should make efforts of coming out of her shy nature. The simplest way to display confidence is to maintain a fantastic posture. Being well at ease with the body is the most effective way to show positivity. One must also note that a good posture makes you feel good and also makes you approachable. If a guy does not notice you then too bad for him, either he is too stupid or too shy. Walk straight, stand tall and be comfortable with yourself and you are sure to catch every guy’s attention. Believe it or not, this is the best way to flirt and you will notice at least a hundred pair of eyes staring at you.

Smile Smile Baby!
Smiling is the best body signal that gives the message that you like him. Don’t worry, guys are intelligent enough to understand that amazingly attractive smile of yours. They don’t need to understand any Morse code or feminine communication code to get the message. The best way to put your message through is to glance at the guy, make an eye contact for a fraction of second and then flash the most gorgeous smile. Ignore him for a few seconds and then look at him again. This will definitely put the message forward that you are expecting him to look at you and you are interested as well. Smiling does not mean that you over do it. A controlled and sensual smile will be good enough. Men cannot resist the flirtatious effect of a naughty and alluring smile. You may also refer to flirting language of women for more information.

Gift of the Gab
The eye contact, confidence and the gorgeous smile is always enough for the guy to know that you like him. He is bound to come up to you and use his favorite pick up line or he would come up to you and simply start a conversation. If he does not, you can always go to him and use pick up lines for girls won’t do harm, however, should be used only if you are confident in using them. The best way to keep up a conversation is to narrate really good incidences that would interest the guy, like some hilarious story from your work place or some other situation to lighten the mood.

Try a Nicole Kidman
The last flirting tip that I would offer is a quick set of flirting tips for girls. Dressing in a very clear and confident manner is bound to work wonders and boys would not be able to restrain themselves from asking you out. Choose the dress colors very carefully. It would be a good idea to take help from your friend. Wear colors and designs that suit your skin tone and your body structure. No one likes a clumsily dressed woman, even if she is pretty. Make sure to match proper accessories. Shoes must be comfortable and must be capable of carrying your body weight with ease. Hairdo is particularly important. Your locks should be neatly arranged so that they give you a neat and smart look. Simple make up is recommended for maximum effect.

Nicole Westwood is an upscale matchmaker based in Los Angeles, You can meet the love of your life through an professional matchmaker in Los Angeles, like the Nicole Westwood Agency.

 

The Top Ten Romantic Songs Of All Time.

Looking for a that song, you and your partner can call ” your song”? As a professional matchmaker here are my recommendations for the top love songs of all time:

1. At Last by Etta James

2. The Way You Look Tonight by Fred Astaire

3. When I Fall in Love by Celine Dion and Clive Griffin.

4. L-O-V-E by Nat King Cole

5. Unforgettable by Natalie Cole ( With Nat King Cole)

6. My Heart Will Go On by Celine Dion

7. Unchained Melody by Righteous Brothers.

8. Your Song by Elton John

9. Truly, Madly Deeply by Savage Garden

10. Because you Loved Me by Celine Dion

Nicole Westwood is a professional matchmaker in Los Angeles.