You’ve got butterflies, good conversation, maybe even great sex, but sometimes it can be difficult to be sure if it’s love. How do you decipher whether the feeling in the pit of your stomach is the nervous quivering of anticipation or yesterday’s lunch? Let a professional matchmaker tell you how:
You are best friends. You laugh with them more than anyone else. The feelings of anticipation, passion, and connection are mutual. You remember little things about each other like their favorite foods, the places they want to visit and why, their views on everything from politics to fashion, and what they love about their closest buddies, but is it enough? Take a look at these signs to be sure.
What he’ll do:
- Put you on his “A” list (pay attention — You’ll know if you’re not on it)
- Introduce you to his family
- Make plans for the future (near and far)
- Do things outside of his “box” with you
- Share his secrets and his dreams for the future with you
- Worry about impressing your friends
- Come right over when you ask him to
- Try to do things that comfort you or relieve some of your stress (like surprise you with dinner on a night you are working, rub your feet, or ask about your day)
- Appreciate and reciprocate your feelings and your actions like giving you a massage after he gets one from you, doing the dishes after dinner, or sending you a gift
What she’ll do:
- Share her embarrassing moments and fantasies with you
- Little things all throughout the day that let you know she’s thinking about you
- Fantasize about her life with you, getting married, having kids, growing old, traveling the world, etc.
- Tease you
- Hang out with your mother or talk to her on the phone
- Appreciate and reciprocate your feelings and your actions, like offering to pay for dinner, getting tickets to a game or event she knows you’ll love, or cooking for you
- Ask questions about your life — past, present, and future
- Flirt with you
How you’ll feel:
- Excited, yet relaxed
- Vulnerable, yet strong
- Comfortable enough to be yourself in front of them
- Like you want to include them in everything (but you won’t desert your usual crowd to be in a relationship with them)
- You’ll miss them when they’re not around
- You can’t wait to see them, talk to them, play with them, and kiss them
- You’ll find yourself wanting to make plans to have them all to yourself
- You’ll have urges to do romantic things (maybe on the verge of stalker-like things) that you never thought you’d never do
Signs that it’s not love:
- They blow you off or cancel dates
- Talking about commitment makes either of you uneasy or nervous
- Either of you are seeing other people
- Things are moving too quickly for one of you
- You find your partner lacking when compared to other people
- You watch a love scene in a movie or hear a love song and you feel a strong longing or desire for what you don’t have
- Tips before you commit:
- Take the time to compare who you have with who you know deep down that you desire and deserve. Likewise, compare the relationship you have with the one you know you really want.
- Pay attention to how they treat their friends, family, business associates, and strangers. This is a good indication of how they will treat you over time and a big insight into their overall character.
- Ask yourself how well you know them and how well they know you.