Matchmaking

How to Get Over Someone–From an Upscale Matchmaker

Love is universal. It is beyond the relationships we have. It is always inside you. We associate it with outer objects because they act as guides helping to find that feeling in us. We think that this person is the only way we are able to find this place, this feeling.

This is not true. Different people can help you to find it, some better than others, but the real key is to find it again and again, so gradually it becomes a permanent state in you not dependent on other people or outer objects.

The idea of “the one” is a myth. This may sound strange to you, especially if you are young and this is your first love or one of the first loves. With some people we are able to get more close to than with others and sometimes we need to put some time and energy to finding another suitable person, but if you stay open and try, you always do.

We tend to exaggerate things in our head. When something unwanted happens we think it to be much worse than it actually is.

Memories are another things which are highly selective. In fact, if you are feeling emotional and you probably are, the memories you have, have been altered by your current state. That means they are not true, parts of them are, but most of them are not. You just do not remember them objectively.

Same thing is with the picture of the future you had for the two of you. This is just your idea of it, most likely not the way it would had turned out to be. So the idea in your head is the thing that is causing the pain.

And most important, you have to feel all the feelings you have. It is OK to be heartbroken, observe it and let it be. Be careful not to feed it with self-pity and it will gradually naturally fade. Of course it helps to go out and socialize to divert your focus and stop your mind from creating unnecessary misery for you. Your mind is the place where the misery comes from, not the outside world.

Life is unpredictable, if you give it a push it will have great things stored for you. Just maybe slightly different things but chances are that even better than you originally wanted.

So relax, stop thinking about how to get over someone, let the getting over a broken heart process go naturally and always do your best. That is all we can do and all we have to do.

Nicole Westwood is an upscale matchmaker, a professional matchmaker and a matchmaker in Los Angeles who runs The Nicole Westwood Agency, and is an upscale matchmaker in Los Angeles.

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