How come so many fail in their relationships so often? That in spite of their continuous attempts at dating and embarking on new relationships, promising themselves that “this time it must work”, they find themselves, once again, alone?
Is there anything they can do about it?
Many are not aware of the ways in which they sabotage their relationships. They think than “falling in love” and “being there” for their partners are sufficient in order to develop and maintain a loving bond.
But this is really not the case: even two people who love each other very much are likely to encounter problems and difficulties, arguments and conflicts. It is really nice to think that if they truly love one another they will be able to solve their problems; make peace with each other; come to mutual agreement about how to handle and maintain their relationship.
But this is not the case
Although there is a saying: “Great love can heal wounds”, in reality it doesn’t work that way. The two look at each other and wonder: if I love him/her so much, how come there are so many conflicts between us? If I think he/she is my “soul-mate”, how come we differ on so many issues?
As they continue their relationship and confront more and more difficulties, they begin to suspect whether this is really their “soul-mate”; whether this is really what “love” is. Some stay in the relationship knowing, based on their past experience, that even if they’ll leave and initiate a new bond, they will encounter same problems once again. Others leave, initiate a new relationship, and encounter same problems once more. And there are those who leave, or are being left, and decide to not seek another relationship ever again. Enough is enough!
What many don’t realize about the failure of their relationships
What many often do not realize is that one main reason for the failure of their relationship is that they lack Self-Awareness:
* They don’t see and understand the ways in which they sabotage their relationships;
* They think they know what love is;
* They think they know how to be and behave in a relationship;
* They think that “loving a lot” is the secret for a satisfying long-term bond.
But this is not the case:
* They often don’t see how they shoot themselves in the foot in relationships.
* They are not aware how their attitudes, reactions and behaviors damage the bond.
* They don’t acknowledge the mistakes they do which lead to the deterioration of the relationship.
The reason they don’t acknowledge these is:
* They are unwilling to accept the fact that they do mistakes. If something goes wrong with the relationship it must be their partner’s fault. After all, they love him/her so much, it can’t be them!
* They don’t acknowledge the fact that they are not aware;
* They don’t want to take the time to learn about themselves. Give them a tip or two – and off they go!
… and their dreams about a successful intimate relationship stay far away from their reach….
The simple solution to becoming able to develop and maintain a satisfying relationship is:
* To become aware of their attitudes, reactions and behaviors in and around relationships;
* To understand a whole array of factors which exert power over them and drive them to sabotage their relationships;
* To make the necessary changes vital to cultivating a successful relationship.
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