Matchmaking

Why You Might Not Have A Future Together–From An Upscale Matchmaker

You do like them but sometimes you ask yourself whether you have a future together. You just seem so different but they do say that opposites attract. So what are some things that show you that you don’t have a future together?

1. Conflicting core beliefs. When the things that you both hold as central in your life are totally different then you may not have a future together. What are your beliefs and practices as far as faith, relationship commitment, faithfulness, family, finances etc are concerned? If you believe that fidelity is none negotiable but your partner believes that it’s not a big deal then you may not have a future together. Discuss your core beliefs and find out what is negotiable and what is a deal breaker for you.

2. The 3 D’s. Disrespect, disapproval and disloyalty. If these are what characterize your attitude to each other then you don’t have a future together. If do not highly esteem your partner and so you criticize them constantly; if you keep tearing them down with your words and they can do nothing right in your sight; if you are unfaithful to them emotionally, physically or trashing them before other people then you don’t have a future together.

3. Pig headed conflict and grievances. All couples fight but the ones that stay together are able to come to a negotiated compromise. If your conflicts degenerate into personal attacks or where one of you always has to have their way then you don’t have a future together. If you cannot resolve conflict together than you are in trouble. If one of you just gives in so as to please the other or to keep the peace, then you do not have a future together as you are not being true to yourself.

4. Avoidance. A relationship where a couple puts up barriers between them is one that has no future. These barriers include contempt for each other, always taking offense, endless useless debates, avoidance and disengaging. If these attitudes characterize you or your partner then you don’t have a future together.

5. No talk of the future. A couple with a future talks about the future and sees each other in that future that they envision. Do you discuss the future and do you see your partner in your future? Does your partner see you in their future? If one or both of you don’t see the other in their future then you may not have a future together.

6. Minimal or no effort. Successful relationships require effort from both of you. Our default mode is to do as little as possible so if you or your partner has stopped putting any work into the relationship that means he is no longer powered or motivated by you. A sign that your relationship may be on its last leg.

7. Prefers to be out with friends. You do not have a future together if you or your partner would rather spend time with other people then with each other. You should spend time with other people and also with each other but if prefer other people over each other than your relationship does not have a future.

If you see a combination of these signs then your may not have a future together unless you can get help to sort out each area.

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