Matchmaking

Learning From Past Relationships–From An Upscale Matchmaker

Most people have had a few relationships, and the chances are that those past relationships were not healthy and didn’t end on a good note; otherwise you would still be together. Many people carry their past relationship problems into their next relationship and worry about those exact same things happening, but wouldn’t it be easier to learn from their past relationships?

Every past relationship started with love and hope. Everyone enters relationships with the best intentions possible. If we can reach into the past and figure out where we went wrong, what our hopes for the relationship was, and be honest about the unique personalities of our partners, then we get a great opportunity to figure out who we are and why we have done what we have done in the past.

This can help us to eliminate destructive patterns that we have in relationships. We can figure out where we need to grow and change before the next relationship, and we can head into future relationships better prepared and more knowledgeable about our wants, needs, and actions.

During the relationship it may not be as easy to see where the mistakes are being made and what needs to be changed due to ego, emotions, and just literally being too close to the situation. But after the relationship you have severed the deep emotional confusion and can look at it objectively.

It’s easier to admit your faults after the relationship ends as well. Yes you probably have some faults! Your ego may not allow you to admit that you are jealous or mean or selfish in the relationship. It doesn’t want to feel like you are the problem in the relationship, or even have a part in the problem, but you most likely do.

To start fixing your relationship problems begin by looking back at the mistakes that you made in the relationship. Be brutally honest here. No one is looking except for you! Were you controlling? Did you nag about their imperfections too often? What part of your relationship skills do you need to change?

Once you figure out your personal relationship issues you can get to work on them. In fact, just acknowledging them will have a great effect on how you interact with future relationships. But taking action is essential to ridding yourself of those problems once and for all. Get the self-help books out and start helping yourself!

Then you can look at the past partners you have had. Do they have a pattern? Do they always seem to treat you in the same way? These are the things you don’t want in a relationship anymore because, as you know, it doesn’t work out. You need to be proud enough of yourself to realize that you deserve a partner who treats you with respect and loves you for you.

Past relationships offer a great insight into what we don’t and do want out of a relationship, and they also teach a thing or two about ourselves. Use that to your advantage and every relationship you enter will be better than the last.

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