Let’s face it: After being in a relationship for a while, things that happen naturally at the beginning just don’t happen anymore. One part of the reason for this is that your ‘honeymoon hormones’ and the increased activity that comes with them only last somewhere between six to 18 months.
Relationships need work
Oh no! You might say, but the truth is that for your body to stay fit you need to work out, for your friendships to flourish you need to nurture them and for your relationship to continue being interesting you need to put something in. You can see it as tedious work or as the thing that you are (or at least were at some stage) most passionate about. Remember those days when your thoughts were with your loved one every hour of the day and you couldn’t wait to see them again?
Why planning date nights?
This is just one example. Basically you can do whatever it is that both of you enjoy: Adventure trips, bicycle trips on the weekend, jogging or exercise together in the mornings, going out for movies, theater or concerts – it does not matter as much what you do but that you do it regularly.
Organizing joint activities or date nights
Think about some things you both like doing and you enjoy doing together. Make a list and share it with each other.
Decide on how frequently you want to engage in this activity. If it is a date night, make it either once a week or once a fortnight at least. Make it so that it fits in with your schedule and your financial means. Mix activities and outings between things that cost money, like going out for meals, and things that are free, like going for bike rides etc.
Set those activities and/or date nights in your calendar and make one of you responsible for one time and the other for the next time. This means that the one who is responsible organizes what, when, where things will happen. You can either have this as a surprise or share it with each other and look forward to the next joint activity.
Monitor your expectations
When you organize something make it so that it doesn’t cost you a lot of time or money so that you feel stressed every time it’s your turn. Also remember that it’s not a competition between you and your partner to see who organizes the coolest and most out-there things. You can enjoy simple things, if you choose to.
When your partner organizes something watch your expectations. If you both are dedicated to this idea, you both make the best out of the resources you have, which doesn’t mean that you’ll be getting the same results.
Remember to praise each other and express gratitude for the time spent together.
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