10 Pieces of Advice For Women in New Relationships–From a Professional Matchmaker

Starting a new relationship with a man can be exciting and wonderful. However, if you do not spend the time to develop the relationship, it may be short lived. Here are the top 10 ways to make sure you end up with a healthy and happy relationship that will last a lifetime.

  1. Allow the man to take the lead in the relationship. Many women have been on their own for a long time before starting a new relationship and are used to doing things for themselves. Surrender to the idea that this new man in your life will want to make some of the decisions and you will be off to a good start.
  2. Don’t tell him your entire life story on the first date or two. It takes time for people to get to know each other. You risk scaring your new guy away if you tell him everything immediately. Let it flow naturally out of the conversation and circumstances and he will have time to digest everything about you.
  3. Give him a chance to tell you about his job. Men define themselves by what they do, so give him time to describe his job and what he likes about it. You can ask some questions about why he went into that line of work, but then let him talk about it until he feels satisfied that you understand how he feels about his career.
  4. Introduce him to some of your friends and family as soon as you decide that he may be the man you want to spend your life with. He will consider it an honor to be introduced to people you are close to.
  5. Observe how he handles a variety of situations. It is always good to see people under different circumstances than when you first meet them. Make an effort to see how he deals with adversity and unexpected situations. This will give you an idea of how he will deal with other life experiences that are bound to arise.
  6. If one or both of you has children, introduce them as soon as possible. Blending a family can be a beautiful experience if it is handled well.
  7. Make a list of the most important issues that you care about and begin discussing them with him. You will need to know if there is anything about him that you just do not want to deal with.
  8. Find out what kind of marriage his parents had. You will know how he will treat you when you find out how his father treated his mother. This may be the most important tip of all.
  9. If you have a disagreement, see how well you both handle it. Have an honest, open discussion about what happened and talk about how you will handle it differently the next time.
  10. Give the relationship time to develop naturally. You do not need to rush into anything that you are not comfortable with, and will have a better chance of success if you allow the relationship to take its own time to move from one stage to the next.

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