11 Ways To Gain Confidence Around Men–From A Professional Matchmaker

Lacking confidence is why so many women fail to meet or attract the men they want. When you know how to do it, building confidence is really quite simple, and is the only thing standing in the way of your dating success. Put the following steps into action and notice how you start getting noticed!

1. Dress For Success

Appearance is everything, at least initially, and when it comes to first impressions, people do judge a book by its cover. Who’s going to get that guy’s attention…the dowdy dresser or the girl with the stylish, elegant outfit? Why be a pebble when you can be a diamond? Your clothes should say “I do care about myself and I want you to notice me!” Your clothes are an opportunity to make a statement about yourself, and it doesn’t have to be a bold statement, it can be

If you walk into an elevator full of executives and you’re dressed like one of them, you’re more likely to be greeted. If you’re not dressed like them you’re likely to be ignored. Make your clothes count.

2. Walk With Purpose

Confident people walk as if they’re on their way somewhere important. Put a spring in your step, hold your head up high, look straight ahead, and notice how different this makes you feel. When you walk with purpose you feel more confident, and people around you can feel this energy.

3. Focus On the Qualities You Have

Confident people don’t dwell on negative thoughts, or waste too much time worrying about what they don’t have. Instead they spend their energy on improving what they do have. Focus on the positive aspects of your looks and abilities, and be grateful for what you have. Confidence is a state of mind.

4. Pay Compliments to Other People

Complimenting other people is a way of showing that you have a positive frame of mind and generosity of spirit. Giving someone a compliment is likely to elicit a positive response from that person, and this will make you feel good about yourself!

5. Join in the Conversation

Join in the conversations with people around you, or even start a conversation. Humor is always a good way to do this. People who sit on the sidelines don’t get noticed, and talking more often will hone your conversation skills and improve your confidence with people.

6. Get Plenty Of Exercise

Doing regular workouts improves your confidence in so many ways! It stimulates the release of endorphins, which are the body’s “feel good” chemicals and leaves you feeling on a high. It also improves your fitness which increases your sense of well being, and it tones your body and improves your physical appearance. When your body feels good, your mind feels good, and when you have extra energy, you radiate this energy to other people and this make you more attractive to them.

7. Do Something For Someone Else

You’ve probably heard the saying “giving is better than receiving”. When you’re focusing on helping others you’ll feel positive about yourself, and doing this without expecting anything in return is one of the best ways of making yourself feel good and improving your feeling of self-worth.

8. Keep Busy

This is about doing things that you enjoy, and participating in activities that give you opportunities to meet like-minded people. If you enjoy the outdoors, join a hiking club. If you enjoy reading, join a book club. Meeting people with similar interests is one of the best ways to start new friendships, and the more people you meet, the more you’ll build your confidence.

9. Learn New Skills

This is a very practical way of building confidence. By improving yourself and building on your knowledge and capabilities, you empower yourself, and the more people will rely on you and respect you. And you’ll gain plenty of satisfaction by knowing that you’ve mastered new skills.

10. Realize That Your Situation Is Not Unique

Understand that your needs and desires are the same as everybody else’s. All people desire relationships, not just you. Accept that if you mess up, it’s no big deal. Everybody messes up at some stage, and it’s an opportunity for you to pick yourself up, learn from your mistakes, and move on. Realize that no one is perfect, but that you are good enough!

11. Be true to yourself

This means having a set of values to live by, and standing up for what you believe in. It means learning not to compromise your beliefs because of someone else’s unrealistic demands or expectations. Being true to yourself also means asserting yourself, and having the confidence to stand up for yourself when you’re being disrespected. You’ll find people will respect you a lot more when you can demonstrate that you have loads of self-respect and that people can’t walk all over you. The more you practice this, the easier it gets, and the more powerful and confident you will become.


Confidence is what sets people apart. The only reason some people succeed where others fail is that successful people have a solid belief in themselves, and an unshakeable confidence. By applying these steps you too can build your confidence, get the men you want, and achieve the success you deserve.

Nicole Westwood is an upscale matchmaker and a professional matchmaker based in Los Angeles and working with upscale singles all over the US to help them find lasting love and romance.


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