Matchmaking

How To Avoid Mr. Wrong…From An Upscale Matchmaker

There are two types of Mr. Wrongs. The first, is the man who lacks the personal skills of having a healthy relationship. If you choose to commit yourself to him then you must understand he is not capable of being emotionally connected with you, your children, or your family. Therefore, you must be willing to live with and accept this. The second type is a man who might be Mr. Wrong for you, but Mr. Right for someone else. He is capable of being emotionally connected with a woman, her children, and her family. However, there may be that little voice inside of you telling you something isn’t quite right–for you. The bottom line, however wonderful he may be, if he does not fit your relationship criteria, or something is missing, then that makes him Mr. Wrong-for you.

Although the world is full of Mr. Rights–men who are fun-loving, romantic, charming, strong, and adventurous–who are seeking the right woman, there are some men that will always be wrong for you. The Mr. Wrong you want to avoid is the man who is not looking for, is not capable of, and is not interested in a meaningful relationship with you. Below, is a list of men that are wrong for all the right reasons:

Mr. Married

There is a married man who will pursue you as if he is single. He will flirt, buy you gifts, and take you to lunch. He will call, email, and make plans to be with you. However, he will not be able to take you to dinner, to a movie, or to the ballet. Nor will he be able to kiss you, touch you, or court you in public.

The bottom line is this: A worthwhile woman does not take things that do not belong to her. Period.

The Player

The player is awesome and the first to admit it. He is very independent and can take care of his needs on his own. As a matter of fact, he doesn’t even need you for sex. He always has a woman willing and waiting to be his booty call.

The Player is constantly meeting new women. He lives to play and plays to live. And when he is finished playing with you, he will scroll down his phone list, go online, and begin the game all over again. It is who he is and what he does.

Mr. Addiction

When a man does not measure up to his own expectations, he often turns to addiction. Addiction is the coping mechanism he uses to deal with an internal emotional pain. His addiction allows him a temporary escape from the real world and a means to suppress his feelings. Sadly, Mr. Addiction has lost touch with the ones he loves and the ones who love him. Even more tragic, he has lost touch with himself.

Until he seeks help, Mr. Addiction will overwhelm you with romance and flowers, but not with a future. You will eventually be overcome with his mood swings, depression, and his love of drugs, alcohol, pornography, or power.

The Liar

The Liar will look you straight in the eye and tell you everything he knows you are waiting to hear.

First, never believe what a stranger tells you. This is the biggest mistake women make. Second, stop being so gullible. And third, start taking responsibility for the men you meet.

The liar has a major character flaw-he can’t tell the truth! He just cannot help himself when it comes to little white lies and exaggerations. After he eventually gets caught, he is a master at convincing you it really was not his fault. For instance, if you hadn’t left him alone to visit your parents for the weekend he would never have went to the club and hooked up with his ex.

The Deceiver

Unlike the liar, who is honest in the fact the he knows it is wrong to not tell the truth, the deceiver lies to himself. In fact, The Deceiver is a man who has no idea of who he really is so he lives the life of the man he would like to be.

The deceiver is a master at luring you into what you think is a meaningful relationship. And truth be known, he believes that is what he wants as well. The problem is that he has spent a lifetime pretending to be someone he is not. So it only makes sense, if he doesn’t know who he really is then he really doesn’t know what he really wants. He is incapable of falling in love, settling down, and making a commitment to one woman. Rather, he aimlessly moves from one meaningless encounter to another searching for what he doesn’t even know he is looking for.

The Deceiver seduces you with fabulous music and promises of romantic get-a-ways. This man will wine you, dine you, and even pray with you. But once he has lured you in and had sex with you–he dumps you in the worst way.

The Deceiver is probably the most difficult Mr. Wrong to identify. That’s why you must go slow, abide by the general rules of dating, and trust your ‘gut’ feeling when your inner alarm goes off and tells you something is not right.

The Bully

The bully comes at you with sharp insulting comments then quickly pulls back and smiles. If you have to ask yourself this question, “I wonder, have I just been insulted or not?” then you are probably dating an intimidator. You would not let someone walk up and punch you in the gut, but the intimidator does the emotional jab to your self-esteem.

Mr. Detached

Mr. D. waltzes into your life and sweeps you off your feet. He wins you over with his wit, charm, and personality. Before you know it, he has captured your heart. Suddenly, after he has won the prize, he stops playing the game.

Unfortunately for you, when the honeymoon is over, so is the relationship. Once he has worked to get you he becomes unresponsive, unavailable and totally withdrawn. Mr. D. is hardworking, responsible, and personable–at work. At home he is a different man. It isn’t that he does not want to have an intimate relationship with you, it’s that he does not know how. Even he does not understand how disconnected he is from his life.

Sadly, a relationship with Mr. Detached is very lonely. You see, even when he is there–he is gone.

Mr. Maybe

Take a big red pen and write down the name of Mr. Maybe and put a big question mark by his name. Because that sums him up. Maybe he will call. Maybe he will email. Maybe he will think of you. Or maybe he won’t. If Mr. Maybe does not know what he wants, then he probably does not know what he has.

Mr. Maybe’s lack of commitment is annoying. Maybe you should move on?

Mr. Rebound

…is a man with a broken heart. He has lost love through death, divorce, or romantic breakup. Given time and space, Mr. Rebound could be someone’s Mr. Right. He just needs time to regroup. Until he has already sorted through his emotional baggage, Mr. Rebound will rarely commit to the first few women he dates after a break-up.

In the beginning everything appears normal. That is, until his feelings settle down, his thought process is restored, and he realizes he made a mistake by getting involved too soon. Unfortunately, most men do not know how to fix their broken heart. So rather than fix what is broken, he simply goes out and finds another partner.

The simplest way to discover a Mr. Wrong is to not have sex with him. A man who is interested in a meaningful relationship will be interested in getting to know you as a person. He will be concerned about your likes and dislikes. He will be looking for ways to please you. If, after he has spent some time getting to know you and sees the possibility of you being “the one” then he will respect your decision to wait for physical intimacy. Mr. Right is looking for an intimate, emotionally-connected relationship; therefore, he is willing to wait for a worthwhile woman.

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