Matchmaking

10 Relationship Mistakes You Might Be Making–From An Executive Matchmaker

Getting the logistics of any relationship down pat is always easier said than done, naturally. Thousands of women make fairly common and easily avoidable mistakes when it comes to men and relationships.

So many women absorb themselves in the fact that they are alone in the world (when they are single) and thus, they highly appreciate and value the priceless company of a man.

Yet sometimes, for certain men, this innocent behavior could come off as too attached, possessive, or even desperate.

Never a good thing for a woman who is trying to make a positive impression.

Below you will find 10 mistakes that women make and how you can avoid them happening to you!

Mistake #1: Don’t Portray Yourself In a Negative Light…

Most men are turned-off by a woman who comes off as too needy and desperate. Most single, attractive, and successful men are hard to find, and so they tend to have a little something we know as experience.

They can easily sense any of the above traits, and when they do, they will be waving their own red flag and running off in search of someone else.

Let’s get this straight, you do not need a man to fulfill your destiny and complete your life, regardless of what your subconscious has you believing. Your Mr. Right will only be revealed and found by you when you can accept this fate and become happy with your current, single lifestyle.

If you are not happy with yourself and your life currently, how can you expect anyone else to do so?

Mistake # 2: Don’t Base Your Relationship On False Pretenses…

Meaning, do not assume that just because the two of you have fallen head over heels in love with each other, that everything you dislike about his personality currently, will change since he is now with you and you want him too.

If you base your relationship and its future success on his potential, you will be setting yourself up for possible disappointment and regret. Learn to love your man as he is, from day one.

Most men will not tolerate this and are only ever willing to change when and if they so please. However, if you treat him right and he loves you, he may be more receptive and willing to change, if it makes you happy.

Mistake #3: Don’t Expect Him To Be Your Everything…

Do not expect your relationship with him to make you 100% happy because, let’s be realistic, we all have something that we dislike or don’t approve of within our significant other, no matter how large or small the dislike is.

The more you try to change your partner the more he will grow distant and resentful.

Instead, offer some positive encouragement and genuine concern for your dislike then suggest some alternatives, either way, show your unending love, support, and respect for his decisions.

He will likely do the same for you in return.

On the other hand, there are a small handful of freak relationships where both partners are entirely happy with each other, as nothing is impossible. However, these are mostly the exception, rather than the rule.

Nonetheless, perfect harmony and happiness in any relationship is always a great goal to continuously strive for.

Mistake #4: Don’t Be Bothered If Your Expectations Fall Short…

This mistake is in accordance with the first few mistakes. Relationships take time to fully grow and mature and eventually blossom into the love you’ve always dreamt about and deserve.

True love is like a fine wine; robust, rich, hearty, and only gets better with age.

Look at it from this perspective – It is perfectly all right to set reasonable goals and improve your status, but the less pressure that you put on both your shoulders, and the lower your expectations are for him and yourself to live up to, the better both of your lives will ultimately be.

You’ll be surprised by many outside factors and humbled by what you never expected this way, give it a try!

Mistake #5: Don’t Force Mother Nature…

Let the relationship between the two of happen in a gradual and natural manner. If you force emotions and feelings on him too soon you will only create awkward tension and unnecessary doubt.

The best thing you could do is to not let it bother you if he doesn’t fully love and take care of you right out of the gate.

His feelings, just as your own, need time to fully develop and build gradually. He will eventually learn to care enough for you that his protection instinct will be triggered of its own accord.

Learn to accept and create this happening as it rarely does so on accident. This is done by allowing your relationship to advance naturally rather than forcing its progress.

Mistake #6: Don’t Assume That Your 6th Sense Reigns Supreme…

Your intuition, your judgment, the way you can sense someone else’s vibe and intentions. Assuming you know the mind of a man and your ability to judge his character could lead you towards hot water.

Women communicate with sarcasm, flirting, body language, and hints when they first meet a man, whereas men tend to communicate through sarcasm, cockiness, humor, and other indirect displays of their status.

Men and their psychology is mostly different from women, we are not meant to fully understand their ways and vice versa – that is the beauty of diversity.

The best way you could possibly hope to understand a man, is to understand where he is in terms of the signals that he gives off, and the information he chooses to share with you.

When a man is truly ready and willing to commit himself to a relationship he will be on par with all four of the following states;

1. Social Status: Where he is in terms of his life and goals, his ambitions, stability, and confidence levels.

2. Emotional Status: Whether or not he is emotionally available to open himself up to you and get in touch with his more sensitive and caring nature, or if he is yet too vulnerable and uncomfortable in doing so.

3. Physical Status: Determines if he is attracted to you for any reason; looks, personality, intrigue, etc.

4. Love Status: Whether or not he is open, ready, and willing to develop a relationship with someone. If he is willing to have you join his life and build a connection with you on every possible level.

Mistake #7:Don’t Be ‘Overflow’ His Opinion of You…

Most guys like to see your emotionally vulnerable side as it helps them feel more at ease with doing so as well, however if you overdo the love it just may have him feeling the opposite.

Don’t ever beg, plead, or try your hardest to convince him that you are the best.

If he feels as though you are trying to force his emotions, make him like you or fall in love, he will grow protective of himself and begin to withdraw.

Mistake #8: Don’t Come Off Too Strong…

Sure it is all right to tell him how you feel, how he makes you feel, and how much you enjoy spending time with him, just be careful that you don’t take it too far.

Keep a little mystery about your person and leave room to talk about things down the road. It makes the entire journey of the relationship more meaningful and he’ll remember the little things about you easier if he learns them at a casual pace.

Especially try not to mention anything from a previous relationship or your every intention with your plans for him and your new relationship. This will have him feeling compared, and left out of the equation.

Mistake #9: Don’t Pretend To Be Someone Your Not…

Also, don’t assume that doing something that you think he will like will make him think that you would make a great catch. This not only almost never works, but also ruins just about any chance you could have potentially had with him.

Mistake #10: Don’t Be a Suck-Up…

This goes hand in hand with the previous mistake. If you complain to get what you want, make weak plays of affection, or kiss up to him – you will easily have him pondering whether or not he should leave.

Keep things level-headed and share in the love the two of you have building, together.

Don’t act as though he is God’s gift to Earth, you will only inflate his ego and wondering if whether he could score a better catch than you.

Plus, don’t be too easy for him either. Establish a fine line in the relationship where you both need to work toward each other’s affections, this will have you both valuing the love that you do receive to its fullest.

You will never succeed if you are looking a mans approval, or if you don’t establish what you need out of a relationship, realistically, from day one. Keep things open, honest, fresh, and supportive, and the two of you will go a long way!

 

Nicole Westwood is an upscale matchmaker, a matchmaker in Los Angeles and a executive matchmaker

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