9 Relationship Red Flags You Should NOT Ignore–From A Matchmaker in Los Angeles

These 9 Relationship Red Flags have the potential of being overlooked, excused, or denied. All are reasons to stop, look, and listen to what is going on and carefully consider whether or not you should continue in the relationship. All have the potential of desensitizing you to their affects the longer you are in the relationship.


  1. Emotional reactivity: Your partner creates drama and turmoil frequently by being upset, sensitive, moody, angry, and reactive over things that aren’t really a big deal to you. As a result of this emotional reactivity, you find yourself walking on eggshells and afraid to be yourself.
  2. Excesses that bother you: Anything your partner does to excess that bothers you now has the potential to bother you more later on. It is even worse if the person is defensive about the issue when you bring it up.
  3. Lying: If you have caught your partner in lies, you can assume there will be more lies in the future, unless the issue underlying the lies is resolved.
  4. Control: Your partner tries to control who you see, what you do, and how you live your life. At first, this may feel caring, but the underlying issues behind control are deep and lead to abuse later on.
  5. Emotional/verbal/physical abuse: Your partner uses manipulative and demeaning tactics such as put downs, minimizing, ridicule, name calling, discounting, hostile anger, threats, withdrawal, and physical violence.
  6. Problems in your partner’s personal life: Whether it is with children, finances, business, family, friends, work, physical health, mental health, or sexual problems, these will become your problem(s), if the relationship continues.
  7. Self-doubt: You find yourself questioning yourself and wondering if you crazy, overreacting, oversensitive, mean, or selfish, because your partner is telling you that you are the problem in the relationship.
  8. Inability to resolve conflict: Your partner is unable to resolve conflict and unwilling to learn how to communicate better.
  9. Hoping for change: You are already telling yourself that your partner needs to change. This means you see the red flags but are willing to convince yourself that they will go away rather than lose the relationship.


Nicole Westwood is an upscale matchmaker, a matchmaker in Los Angeles and a executive matchmaker



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