Simply saying the words ‘I love you’ can seem to be an appeasatory gesture at times. It can sometimes feel that the other person is simply going through the motions in order to keep us satisfied, saying what they feel they are required to say to keep the relationship on track. Often though we require more than simply words to hear ‘I love you’ fully.
Let’s look at some of the best ways to say I love you.
– Words are important. Pet names are a lovely way of establishing intimacy in a relationship. Many couples enjoy developing affectionate pet names for each other and at times they can become almost a personal code between them.
Deliberately keeping the conversation light can be a sensitive option at times. If our partner is tired, weary, jaded having an animated, easy conversation can be a good way of distracting them from their other worries and concerns. It can elevate their mood and provide a positive release.
– Empathy demonstrates that we love them enough, know them well enough to appreciate how they’re feeling. Not everything needs to be analysed, questioned, discussed. Sometimes empathy is about being understanding enough to say very little. There may well be times when we bite our tongue and avoid asking questions out of respect for the way that they are clearly feeling at the time.
– Silence is important too. Sometimes providing silence is a powerful way of saying ‘I love you’. Giving them personal space, not asking questions if they are clearly tired, picking another time to offload our own problems, letting them find their own moment to tell us what’s on their mind, these are all examples of saying ‘I love you’ with true affection and understanding.
Effective listening can be part of silence; the silence to let them speak uninterruptedly if needed, to feel that what they say is heard, valued, respected and important.
– Actions can say ‘I love you’. Thoughtful gestures like picking up their dry cleaning, running them a bath, cooking their favourite meal, remembering to pick up a leaflet for an event that interests them are all the simple but priceless gestures that demonstrate love and consideration. Little actions often mean far more than the grand gesture or expensive gift. These are the day-to-day actions that demonstrate the other person is in our thoughts, that they matter to us, that we love them.
– Gestures. When a couple are in crisis or are estranged their personal space increases massively. Their desire to be near each other can diminish as the days go by. Conversely, touching as we pass by, even a hand on their back or a light brushing of their arm all indicate love and a desire for closeness and intimacy. Enjoying being close to each other, comfortably sharing each other’s personal space, wanting to be near all say ‘I love you’ as loudly as any words.
– Humour is an important part of a loving relationship. Affectionate ribbing, little private jokes and the ability to laugh at ourselves and each other are some of the most important ways to say ‘I love you’. Humour and laughter demonstrate trust in each other and the confidence to relax and be comfortable in each other’s presence.
Good communications are a fundamental part of being in love with someone. However, the actual words used are only one aspect of communicating. Saying ‘I love you’ can be done effectively in many different ways.