There’s actually no magic way to get your guy to propose when you think the time is right; however, there are things you can do to figure out whether marriage is actually in your future and then move the process along:
Is he ready?
Assuming your guy is truly the right guy and not just someone who’s stringing you along, guys legitimately have doubts, in that they don’t want to just make a flash decision that’s going to be life changing for them. If he’s ready, great – but if he’s not, don’t just assume that he’s not the right guy. Maybe he just needs a little more time. If you been together for a while and the proposal still isn’t coming, it’s okay to push a little bit, but just a little.
Begin by dropping little hints about marriage, and see how he reacts. Drop phrases like, “If we get married…” or even, “When we get married…” into normal conversations. Watch how he reacts. Does he act nervous or scared, or interested?
If he acts nervous or scared, explore that. It’s important to stress that you should not be angry if he acts nervous or scared. You may feel slightly hurt or upset that he’s not jumping for joy at the idea, but remember, you’ve probably had this fantasy about your wedding day for a long time – decades, even – and he’s just thinking about it now for the first time.
Sit back and relax – or probe a little further, as the case may be
If he acts interested, great. He may have been waiting for a sign from you that you’re ready, at which point he can act now. Sit back, relax, and let him take the lead.
If he acts nervous or scared, take note of that and say something to the effect of, “Does the thought of getting married make you nervous? Why?” Most men do want to get married at some point, but they want to make the decision themselves, not be pushed into it. If he sees that you just want to know what’s going on with his thought process and are not going to get upset or pushy, he’ll be willing to talk.
Figure things out, and make a decision
If he really doesn’t want to get married, you can’t do much about that. However, if he’s truly the right person for you and he really does want to get married, you can figure out why he’s nervous and work to alleviate that. For example, maybe he’s just nervous about the commitment of it all. That’s actually a very mature reaction. Keep discussing marriage with your boyfriend as it comes up so that he gets more comfortable at the prospect of marriage. Once he is, he should pop the question in due time.
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