Guest Post By Matt Hansen, Relationship Coach
Getting a man to commit to you in this day and age is no easy task. While it seems that the dance between men and women is as old as time, in this current age things have flipped and flopped so much it is hard to know what side is up and what side is down. It’s a great day for women to be sure. The fact that we are CEO’s of our own companies, doctors, lawyers, incredibly successful entrepreneurs, and even running for president is nothing to sneeze at! There was a day and time when we had to fight just for the right to vote. Things have certainly changed, right?
I know you know all of this, and you are probably wondering what on earth this has to do with getting a man to commit. It has everything to do with getting a man to commit, because it also means that along with throwing off our chains of limitation and restraint, we have also flipped the tables on how men and women interact. It is very common for a woman to ask a man out, to pursue him, and for some women, even to propose. Many men feel emasculated by this. They are not sure what to do with these new rules, because it goes against the way that they are wired.
In the past the roles between men and women were pretty defined. In most situations men were the predominant decision makers, and this even included relationships. Understandably women were not always the happiest with this whole situation, but nevertheless the men were pleased because this fed their desire to be dominant. As frustrating as it was for women at times, at least both the men and women knew their roles, so to speak.
Before you panic that I am taking you back to the dark ages, don’t worry. This article is not about how to repress women by letting men rule and reign over them. It’s about how to get into the mind of a man so that you can work with his desires and not against them. If you push against the way that a man is wired, the one who will really suffer is you, and we don’t want that. What we are talking about here is using some of the rules from the past to our advantage, versus going with the flow of modern society and being continually frustrated and eventually, alone.
You have probably heard this before but, deep inside of every man is a need to “hunt”. Men by design are natural hunters. To hunt and conquer is ingrained in them since birth. Because of this, it is a very wise woman who will let a man she likes do the “hunting.”
While you can let a man know you are interested by smiling and being friendly, it is very important to let him ask you out and be the one to pursue you. There is something about being pursued by a man that does wonders for a woman’s sense of femininity. When she begins to chase, though, little by little her confidence as a woman begins to erode. Couple this with how terrible it feels when a man starts pulling away because whether he realizes it on the surface or not, something about it repels him.
Another way that a woman can use traditional dating as her guide is in her desire to tell a man how she feels. It is very important to resist the urge to tell him your true feelings. Even if you have fallen in love with him and you think he is just too shy or too scared to tell you, wait. If this is true and he is indeed too shy or scared, by you opening up the dialogue first you are taking control away from him and instead of feeling empowered he feels emasculated. Let him be the one to lead the way when it comes to the “L” word. If you rush into sharing all of your amazing feelings with him, you can overpower him if it is happening too soon.